The Dreams

I'm sitting in the church as I start this post, we just got done with a powerful moving of God in our youth prayer group. And I had my phone on shuffle, and Dreamers by Urshan Bible College came on, and this thought hit me. 

Our dreams will be nothing more than dreams until we put work into it and until it lines up with God's plans for us. 

I laid there earlier and prayed God give me this great desire to study your word. God give twofold of your spirit and anointing that you've poured into my pastors and spiritual leaders. And then this thought hit me in the middle of that prayer, I have always prayed for this, but I've never wanted to put in the work, I've never wanted to put down my mystery novels and history books and pick up God's book. I've never wanted to get up out of bed early in the morning and get on my knees and pray till something breaks. I've never been willing to put in this work, I've never wanted to have to struggle, I've never wanted to persevere until that anointing came, I just wanted it to happen in one of my cookie cutter prayers that I have been praying and passing off as real talks with God. 

I have dreams but I never wanted to put in the work to see them come to fruition. 

2 Kings 2:9-10

And it came to pass, when they were gone over, that Elijah said unto Elisha, Ask what I shall do for thee, before I be taken away from thee. And Elisha said, I pray thee, let a double portion of thy spirit be upon me. And he said, Thou hast asked a hard thing: nevertheless, if thou see me when I am taken from thee, it shall be so unto thee; but if not, it shall not be so.

Elisha wanted a double of his spiritual leader's anointing and spirit. But he was willing to do something that we aren't, he left everything behind to follow in his predecessor's footprints, he was willing to be a servant of his spiritual leader, he was willing to put his dreams and desires on hold to serve the man that God had put in his life. 

From a young age I have felt called into the ministry, I've never known in what capacity or why, what gifts do I really have to offer. But like every young Pentecostal man who has been called into a ministry, I dreamt of being on a huge stage preaching to massive crowds. But lately that dream has began to fade, am I less zealous in my faith? No, even though at times I feel like I've lost my way. 

I now have this small dream of just reaching people. Last year one of my close friends in high school died of cancer just a month into our senior year. It was this massive blow to me, you truly want to give a young person a wake up call, take a close friend. Ever since then I have had these recurring dreams of my school friends dying off one by one and going to hell, I can feel them crying out, why didn't you reach out to me? My biggest fear in life has now become losing another person that I'm close to dying without me talking to them about Jesus. 

I rarely dream about that huge stage anymore, maybe it's still in my future somewhere, but for now I want God's dream for my life, my dream is to do what I was called to do. I'm still not certain what that is exactly, but I'm willing to put in the work to reach it, I'm willing to leave my comfort zone and do what it takes to take up that mantle when it's my time. I'm willing to do what it takes to see mine and God's dreams for my life come to fruition.